I can't believe I've been out here a whole week. Tell that to my follicles.
They're stubborn. They really didn't grow on the right--AGAIN. The left ones are growing better. The u/s tech said "maybe we'll just go for the ones on the left." Ummmm, yeah. Shut up. I'm so sure I'm just going to ignore the ovary with 14-15 follicles.
My E2 went to 3388. So it went up, but not by much. My nurse said they'd be much more concerned if the E2 had gone down or plateaued. They're upping my GonalF tonight back to 150 and I'm continuing with the microdose HCG. We'll meet with Dr. M tomorrow right after the u/s. My nurse swore she wasn't really that concerned....but I'm fairly sure it's not in their protocol to say: "Yup, things are sucking. We're all really worried, this cycle's in the crapper."
LH went to 1.6 and P4 is 0.8.
So....today has been stressful. There were tears after the u/s tech's comments and then the nurse who did the immediate consult (not the nurse I talked to on the phone later with the lab results) said something about having really pokey follicles and told me to relax, get a massage, go shopping, etc. Well, I did get the massage. We'll see what happens next.
I'm trying to keep that attitude of: it's a vacation with a chance of embryos. But it's so hard when you get out here, when you do so much to get ready, when you think think think you might have a smidgen of a chance, and then things stall out.
Mr. LastChance has been so supportive and sweet. He was like: "Get the massage! What's another 35 bucks on top of 80,000?" He's right. Maybe I should've gotten the full hour!
I don't know why this has to be hard. I am so envious of folks for whom IVF works--the first time. Obviously I'm envious of people who never even have to set foot inside a fertility clinic, or even think about anything outside of their own bedroom when it comes to having a baby, but that's water under the bridge now, right?
This is my life.
These are my ovaries.
This my journey.
Thanks for coming along for the ride.
2 years ago