Thanks for hanging in yesterday.
We got to get together again with Phoebe! To steal a phrase from Jill, we went on an 'ovary friendly' walk at Cherry Creek Park and then went out for delicious Indian food. It was such a fun visit!
So today's ultrasound showed we had four over 20 and a bunch more between 17 and 19, and then of course a ton more behind that. It doesn't really matter what anyone else says, I'm triggering tonight and then showing up for an egg retrieval 35 hours later! Seriously. They're as ready as they're going to be. But just as an example of different tech's measuring differently...today's tech measured the biggest one at 22 not 27 like yesterday. It's all so subjective. I will be very interested in finding out my estrogen for today and also whether she'll let me do the big trigger tonight with a booster trigger twelve hours later, all in the hopes of more mature eggs.
Speaking of today's tech...I remembered her so clearly from our last CCRM adventure. She was the tech who went in to the transfer room with us. If you'll recall, our transfer last time wasn't the happiest of experiences. I'm sorry for that, but I was still in post-traumatic shock from our fertilization report and feeling dropped by our doctor.
It was election day--a day full of hope. A day I wanted two miracles to occur.
But it was also a day that was supposed to be different for us. We were supposed to have had lots of embryos growing, lots to choose from, not doing a "transfer whatever we had." And even though the embryologist called one of our embryos "highly implantable" I was so sad that day.
I started crying when I got positioned for the transfer. My heart was breaking at the realization that all of our planning and hoping and dreaming had come down to that moment. The doctor, a male, seemed a little bewildered if not a little uncomfortable with my tears. The embryologist didn't seem to notice. But the tech, she noticed.
She kept rubbing my leg and patting me and handing me kleenexes and asking me if I needed to wait. She was so kind and gentle.
So today was the first day I had her this go around. I decided to tell her how I remembered her kindness and how much it was appreciated. Of course--with an estrogen of over 6,000 you know what happened. I started crying all over again! She gave me a big hug and got teary herself.
If we get to a transfer this time, it will be different. My expectations are different. My heart is different. But I will also accept comfort and kindness from those around us in this big machine known as CC.R.M. It's what gets you through sometimes.
3 years ago