Friday, August 7, 2009

The Peanut and the Whale

It's really funny seeing your follicles on ultrasound sometimes. My right ovary is so full they're all getting squished into weird shapes--the u/s tech said: "Look at that giant one! It's shaped like a whale!" Then there was a peanut and an odd assortment of other shapes. They grew again, quite a bit. The nurse who looked at the chart said they might trigger me tonight but I seriously doubt it. Only one was over 20, there were others at 19 and 18, and still a few at 15-16...but I'd honestly rather see several at or over 20 and I think Dr. M feels the same.

We went ahead and made our return flights for Monday night assuming a retrieval Monday morning. Yes, I know it's not fun to fly the same day as a retrieval but we really have no choice. I simply cannot miss another day of work. If we end up triggering tonight and retrieving Sunday we'll do our level best to get home Sunday night but alas, there are no more Southwest tickets available so we'd have to save our credit and pay through the nose to fly with someone else. Oh well, what can you do?

In the meantime, we'll see what the estrogen does. I am going to call my nurse in a second to see if they can call me as early as possible if they do decide to trigger tonight so I can let my work know about canceling my schedule Monday....they've been so great but I'd love to give them as much lead time as possible. I think if the estrogen shot up they might be more inclined to trigger too...

Today we're moving hotels. Boo. We have fallen in love with our little "home away from home." I've been here nine nights, I can scarcely believe it. We got a great deal on Price.line and then when we used Price.line again got a different hotel but for a similar deal so at least it's fairly cheap. Not that cost is an issue at this point....see flight cost reference above.

So we've been taking the shuttle from our hotel tons. We've been chatting it up with the driver. Today I just asked him if he had any children--he's in his mid-50s or so--and he said, sadly "No, we were never blessed. We did all the treatments one point I was giving my wife two injections per day."

My heart just sank for him. He said that, while they've adjusted to being childless, seeing babies still "tugs at his heart strings." I teared up and could only nod.

I can only imagine what the fertility treatments were like ten and fifteen years ago, the super low odds of success, the stress of the unknown.

Who knew? Me and the shuttle bus driver...fellow infertiles...although seemingly so different, we're more alike in ways most people will never, ever know.

UPDATE: Well, my E2 went to 5998 in one day with almost no meds. I didn't even get the other numbers. So I'll only get microdose Hcg tonight and no GonalF. I get it. The funniest part was my nurse called and said: "OK, so she doesn't want you to take any GonalF tonight. But she wants to know what you're really going to do..." Ha. I guess they think of me as a rogue patient or something. So, all that hope of my E2 not going out of control...I guess that didn't happen. I guess I'm glad it didn't go so high at the beginning, but should I be concerned about the high E2 ruining my egg quality?? Yikes. Not that I can do anything about it now. I guess it should fall a little bit tonight.....


  1. Gosh, this post got me all misty. I was in Denver, back in April, for a big cancer conference, and I, too, became very attached to my shuttle driver. I wonder if we met the same man? -- Just goes to show...there are struggling IFs everywhere. And how fortune are we to have been born when we were? Like you said, if we'd been born just a decade or so earlier, we'd probably feel even more defeated than we do now.

    I'm upset, because I have to travel to Yosemite for a wedding this weekend. =( The wedding itself doesn't make me's the fact that I'll be away from the computer for most of the weekend, and won't know how your retrieval went! Argh! I'll be sure to check in on you on Sunday night!

    GOOD LUCK, my dear!

  2. I am cheering you on for your retrieval!
    I feel kinda dorky posting the same kind of cheerleader-y stuff every time I read something, but I want you to know I'm reading, I AM cheering, and I'm willing to post dorky comments to make sure you know that I'm pulling for you!! :)

  3. My follies got to looking pretty odd shaped as well. Seems they were always sizes like 23x9. Glad to hear your follies grew, but sorry about not keeping the e2 low. We are some major e2 producing chicks! I too wanted nothing more than to get through 1 cycle without my e2 soaring!

    Neat story about your shuttle driver. Sadly I believe there are many more out there than we realize. Just yesterday some guy came over to repair something on my house and he was telling me all about him and his wife trying for 4 years and finally moving onto adoption. He said they never did IVF because they weren't comfortable with it. I then blurted out we've done 4 and he was shocked.

    That is hilarious that the nurse asked what you're really going to do. Best of luck on triggering soon. Wish I could say, I'll see you tomorrow, but sadly I won't be.

  4. My heart tugged for the shuttle

    I hope that you get some more follies to catch up - it sounds promising!!

  5. I'm glad your follicles are still growing! So it sounds like trigger tomorrow and retrieval on Monday? I'm sorry you have to fly out the same day as retrieval. The story about the shuttle driver is sad. I'm sure there are many people out there like him, but we just don't hear much from them. I wish we did.

  6. Wow - no matter how big the world is, it is kind of small in other senses isn't it? It's ironic how you can find a common thread with someone like your shuttle driver. I'm glad your follies have grown a lot more and with so many follies on the right, there will probably be a few more retrieved than they see because they're so squished together!!

  7. whew, I'm all caught up now. Things seem to be moving along but there just always has to be bumps in the road and that just isn't fair...

    We are finishing packing up today and heading out tomorrow...I'm keeping you guys in my thoughts hoping you get lots of big follies!

  8. I've been off-line for a while and can't believe you're so close to retrieval. Woo Hoo! Things sound good - I can't wait to read up on the tons of healthy eggs you'll get! Safe travels home afterwards.

  9. Isn't it amazing the other people who you "connect" with through IF. I mean, the bus driver of all people!