Thursday, July 16, 2009

The games have begun!

Well, I took my first lupron shot today anyway.

I took it in the morning, then received an email from my nurse that I am to take it in the evening.

Chalk that up to one more thing different than the previous four IVFs...I was always a 'lupron in the AM' kind of gal. Mr. LastChance and I would sing a stupid song about "doing the Lupron dance" at 6 am on the dot.

I decided to do my initial monitoring with my regular gyn rather than my old RE. I just don't want to deal with my old RE anymore. My gyn is awesome--he talked to me on the phone and kept saying over and over "anything you need, just tell me!" What I need is him to see no cysts next week and then to see a picture-perfect early stim response the week after. Sigh. He's no miracle worker. I just want everything to keep on schedule--is that so wrong?

Strangely, this time, aside from a teeny bit of anxiety, I'm much more relaxed. I told Mr. LastChance today that I just want to get out there, get it done, and get back. Like a business trip you know you have coming up that could be exciting, could be something great, but really, you just want to get it behind you.

Yup, that's me.

Not to say we're not excited--we are. I promise. It's good to be doing something again.

But I can unequivocally say that this is it, hence the blog title. I cannot do this anymore. I am at the end of the fertility treatment road. I know I have said that before but this time, I feel so differently. They always said when you were done you'd know.

And for once, that doesn't frighten me. It feels okay. Even if the outcome isn't what we want.

Who knew?

10 comments:

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  2. Lupronnnn, Ahoy! Let's get 'er done! (sorry, I sorta hate that saying, but it seemed appropriate)

    I'm glad you have such a willing and supportive medical team watching over you. You're already doing everything in your power to make "IVF, Take 5" a success, so now it's up to the docs to guide you into the dock.

    I'm praying for smooth sailing for Mr. and Mrs. Last Chance.

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  3. Just wondering why you chose to go this route rather than any other options you were considering?

    I sincerely hope this is it for you!!! I really admire your persistence :)

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  4. I think the freeze-all thing really helps relieve some of the anxiety. You aren't so focused on the getting pregnant part and the "what if this doesn't work?" part...its more like a job to do. Stim, travel, ER, go home, relax. Good stuff. Yay for lupron!

    I am actually really excited for your cycle. I can't wait to see your BFP at the end of all of it.

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  5. Hey, we're lupron buddies! You enjoying the grand headaches yet?

    Oh I soooo get the "I am done after this"!!! I'm there too. I guess they were right, we'll know when it's time to say "we're done". You just have to get to that point where you're soooo sick of this journey that we're done no matter the outcome. Not that we'll have peace if it doesn't work out, but that being sick and tired is outweighing continuing. Best of luck to both of us, I hope we finally have our dreams come true and wouldn't that be fun to be pg buddies! Hugs

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  6. I agree with Sue - the freeze all thing has to have some impact. You're not flying out expecting to get pregnant this go-round - just to get the first part done.

    I want it to work for you. I don't know if it will. I'll hope my little heart out, though.

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  7. So much good luck to you!!! I am crossing my fingers that everything will work out awesome this last time. HUGS!

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  8. So glad you have started. I am looking forward to your updates.

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  9. So I just happen to think this WILL be the last time for you - because it WILL work. Yeah, no BS, I really do.

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  10. thanks for sharing! i'm optimistic about the outcome! :)

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