F'ed

I'm feeling rather f'ed right now.

No AF.

I talked to my back up nurse today. She was all "well it's because you were on prometrium that it's taking so long." Then why the hell did they put me on it? I took the last one Sunday night. I guess I thought that would cause a rather abrupt drop in my P4 levels and AF would come on, in spite of the lupron. 'Fraid not.

Not to mention I've been using Prometrium for the last 4 or 5 months to help with my lining issues...and still always have a 26-27 day cycle at the longest. So now THIS??

I went to acupuncture. Drank some awful herbal tea he prescribed. Nothing.

Today I found out that emmenagogues are supposed to help bring on AF by softening the cervix amongst other things...the two the brilliant internet recommended were ginger and parsley. So I made the tea, and guzzled it. I'm now nauseous. We'll see.

And when did my clinic start a RULE that you can't start stims except on certain days of the week? WTF? So if things don't start happening soon, I'll be delayed by over a week. And that, folks, will mean I'm out.

There is simply no way I can get that time off from work again. All those patients they rescheduled already once...well they're not going to reschedule them again.

I went jogging. I wore white. I went to work today with no AF armour just so I'd be caught unawares.

NOTHING IS WORKING.

So I've been sitting around crying, yelling, and basically having a tantrum.

I have worked so hard for this cycle. No sugar for over two months. Massive amounts of healthy food, good protein. I secured all my meds. I found good flights. I got all that time off.

And now, yet again, my body is failing and f'ing me over.

I'm sick of this.