Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I've arrived.

I made it to the cooler weather. That's something at least.

I had three different phone conversations via my nurses with my doctor. She really kept insisting on doing the Menopur today. She said that my LH level was fine, no need to worry. She said she was quite worried about my low E2, despite my repeated remindings that it was only after two days of stims and that I always do this on long lupron and then--WHOOSH--it starts to shoot right up. That didn't seem to help.

And I relented.

I shot up in the airport and once I felt the sting of the Menopur I thought "Well there goes nothing."

So tomorrow morning bright and early I'll have the LH checked again. Obviously my fear is that it's much higher and then it's too late, what have I done, why did I give in, etc.

I wanted to trust them so much and so I did. I argued every which way I knew how and at that point if I hadn't done it, I feared they would fire me. Or label me difficult. Which shouldn't matter....yikes yikes yikes.

But it's done now. I have to just trust. And let go.

More freaking out tomorrow, I'm sure.

Thanks for the advice and the listening ears (errr, reading eyes??). It's lonely out here.

Hoping to see some follicles tomorrow....


  1. Hang in there, baby!

    I'm biting my nails in anticipation, right along with you.

    You're at Big Shot Fertillity Kingdom now, so, as hard as it may be, try to put a little faith in their plan (I know, easier said than done!).

    I'm sorry you're lonely. =( Just remember that we're all out here, cheering for you!

  2. This is all such a guessing game (actually its medicine with a little guessing game added in, just to keep it interesting). I'm hoping you have some great results in the next few days. Don't worry too much about giving in...they do this so many times a day/week/month/year that they know the results they expect and they do know what they are doing (though I completely understand where you are coming from). Try to trust in that "pure volume" of was hard and you stuck to your guns (and explained your concerns, which is the most important part) but I think you did the right thing in the end...

    Looking forward to an update!

  3. They must feel very strongly about the menopur or they would not be pushing this hard for it while the patient addresses so much concern over it. When it comes to PIO vs Endometrin, because they don't see a difference in results, they let the patient decide. So this tells me they must really see a difference between FSH only and FSH/LH protocols and that's what they are so adamant about it. Try to trust them, I know it is sooooo hard when there's so much on the line and after what happened last time, but that's what you're paying them the big bucks for. At the same time, continue being your own advocate and voice your concerns as needed. I'm sorry that all communication has to be through the nurse, just ridiculous.

    Can't wait to see the results of your u/s!

  4. just got to catch up on things. it looks like you are in a tough spot with your research versus their mindset. it sucks because every detail counts and of the second guessing you may have when you don't follow your gut. i don't understand all of the "greek" medical info so i'm clueless in that regard, but at least i get this part...grrh!

  5. I guess they must feel that the Menopur is pretty important for you right now. It is so hard to trust others when you have been throush so much, even if they are CC.RM. I am sure it has been so frustrating dealing with the nurse rather than your RE directly, that is so annoying. Don't they realize it would actually take less time if they got on the phone themselves!

    Grow, Follies, Grow!!!

  6. I think you stuck up for yourself very well and I agree with what Jill M said - they must feel very strongly to insist. In all of my dealings with them, they've always let me decide when it didn't really matter but if they're insisting with you, it must mean something. I'll be watching for your update tomorrow. Grow follies grow!