Today I'm just depressed.
Plain and simple.
It is times like these that I am left wondering what the hell I did? Why does everything related to creating a family have to be so hard for us?
I look around and see families everywhere. True, some of them may have struggled to get there, but the vast majority did not. I know the statistics. I think I fall into somewhere around 0.05% of the population in terms of fertility issues.
Everything is hard for us related to this. I try to look on the bright side and realize that in many other areas of our lives everything is easy. We have good jobs, we have a home, we have food to eat. Yay!
But sometimes it doesn't make up for the 100K we're spending, the waiting, the feelings of being passed by, the feelings of utter hopelessness, the chaos, the feelings of body betrayal...you name it, we feel it.
Mr. LastChance calls it "being kicked in the teeth repeatedly." So he's not at all surprised that AF is this late, and possibly ruining everything. He expects nothing less, really.
And then there's me, the stupid eternal optimist, always hoping, always wishing. But we still keep getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm about to go for my suppression check. Yeah, I figured I'd keep the appointment. I'm going out of town tonight for something very important. If I end up needing bloodwork I'll have to punt and find some lab willing to do stat levels AND fax the results to my RE.
The fun never ends, eh?
3 years ago