Well, I took my first lupron shot today anyway.
I took it in the morning, then received an email from my nurse that I am to take it in the evening.
Chalk that up to one more thing different than the previous four IVFs...I was always a 'lupron in the AM' kind of gal. Mr. LastChance and I would sing a stupid song about "doing the Lupron dance" at 6 am on the dot.
I decided to do my initial monitoring with my regular gyn rather than my old RE. I just don't want to deal with my old RE anymore. My gyn is awesome--he talked to me on the phone and kept saying over and over "anything you need, just tell me!" What I need is him to see no cysts next week and then to see a picture-perfect early stim response the week after. Sigh. He's no miracle worker. I just want everything to keep on schedule--is that so wrong?
Strangely, this time, aside from a teeny bit of anxiety, I'm much more relaxed. I told Mr. LastChance today that I just want to get out there, get it done, and get back. Like a business trip you know you have coming up that could be exciting, could be something great, but really, you just want to get it behind you.
Yup, that's me.
Not to say we're not excited--we are. I promise. It's good to be doing something again.
But I can unequivocally say that this is it, hence the blog title. I cannot do this anymore. I am at the end of the fertility treatment road. I know I have said that before but this time, I feel so differently. They always said when you were done you'd know.
And for once, that doesn't frighten me. It feels okay. Even if the outcome isn't what we want.
2 years ago