Friday, December 4, 2009

This weekend.

This weekend we are consciously choosing to rejoin the living.

My Dad is doing much better. Apparently, he was this.close to sepsis with a fast moving kidney infection. But several rounds of IV antibiotics have made him much better. He doesn't remember any of yesterday--he was simply too sick--but I had a decent conversation with him on the phone today. So I didn't go home. Instead, I just called obsessively all day long.

But I think it was a good choice.

Mr. LC and I need a weekend. We're going Christmas shopping, which we both oddly enjoy. I like the crowds and the hustle and bustle--to a certain extent. We will restrain ourselves from singing our special "Triple A" song...have I ever taught you the Triple A song? No? Well, it stands for "anyone, absolutely anyone" which Mr. LC put to a groovy little tune and he sings it when he sees someone pregnant and smoking or some other example of the fact that anyone, absolutely anyone can get pregnant but me. In fact, now all he does is hum the tune and we know what it means. Regardless, we're going to ban it tomorrow.

Tomorrow--we're going to shop, eat out, stroll, shop, eat dessert, and have a good time. We're going to watch the rest of Season 2 of 30 Rock and then on Sunday we're committed to finishing Madmen. We're going to volunteer at the ARCH soon and that's always good for perspective and I'm going to do some baking which is always good for...well, not much expect stress eating.

If there's one thing we've learned, it's that we have to keep moving forward.

So onward we'll go. Wish us luck!

PS. Cameron--thanks for the comment. We are eerily similar and I'm sorry for all you've been through. I wish you had a blog--shoot me an email at if you ever want to chat.

PPS My guilt blog--I just wanted to remind people that I promise I'm not saying anyone who goes to extreme measures to have a child is in the wrong. How in the world could I say that, after swearing we'd never do ONE IVF and doing FIVE? One thing I've learned throughout this journey--it is intensely personal and no one ever really knows what they'll do until they get through the next phase. I can only laugh when I think about Mr. LC and I--after going to a required informational session on IVF--we came out of there shaking our heads saying "well that's not for us! No way, no how." If those kids could see us now...


  1. I hope you have a nice weekend and I am so glad to hear your dad is doing better. I too remember saying adoption first, okay, one IVF, then 3 IVFs later, moving on to DS????? Yes, I agree, you never, ever know until you get to the next chapter - and I cannot wait to see what your next chapter brings.


  2. I wish you MUCH fun this weekend. FUN.

    (That is an order if you are into taking orders. If you aren't, then Please? have fun?)

  3. So glad to hear your dad is doing better! I hope you enjoy your weekend. (((Hugs)))

  4. So glad to here your dad is doing better. A small weight must be lifted from your shoulders. A weekend bonding with your DH will do you a world of good. I hope you have a relaxing day.

    Can I sing that song with you? I have a similar refrain stuck in my head and it goes like this...[insert dripping sarcasm] And I'M the one who's infertile? It's an involuntary response to seeing things like a pregnant woman drinking a drinking a vodka tonic, or my 42 year-old overweight got-pregnant-on-the-first-try neibhbor SMOKING. UGH! I know that song all too well.

  5. ARGH..that should read hear, not here. I hate typos!

  6. So happy to hear your dad is doing better! Enjoy your weekend. You two deserve some nice quality time together.

  7. I'm glad you're focusing on yourselves this weekend - much needed!

    Regarding the extent IFers will go, I've seen it time and time and time again (myself included). The most famous last words go like this: We're going to start trying next year and "if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen." We would never use infertility drugs.

    Most people don't realize this unfolds very slowly, step by step. First there is the OB, then some Clomid, then some hormone testing, then an RE "just to make sure nothing's wrong." Before you know it, you're up to your eyeballs in the high-tech muck and don't even want out.

  8. It's so good to read this post. You seem a little more chipper, a little more content and while I know there's still lots of pain to wade through, I can see that you took that step forward. Forward is always good no matter how small the step. I hope you enjoy your weekend shopping and eating out. You deserve happiness, so have fun with that gem of a hubby.

  9. I hope you and Mr. LC enjoy the weekend. You deserve it for sure! Glad your dad is doing better- God bless the folks who invented IV antibiotics!

    I have so much respect and admiration for you- I think you have such a great attitude and positive energy. Even the shittiest hands dealt don't knock you down for long- you're an amazing woman and Mr. LC is lucky to have you! (Make sure you tell him that your blog readers say so!)

  10. I hope that you guys are having a great weekend together and that you have felt a little better, even for just a moment (because I know that with this crap hand you are dealing with it is hard to just immediately turn the tide). I know that with your strength you will find peace soon! Take good care of you and Mr. LC. Let your hearts mend and heal together :)

    Glad too to hear that your dad is doing better. You will find a good balance with your life at home and being there for your mom and dad soon. You've gone through so much recently. I'm glad that you took time this weekend to just be! Hugs to you!

  11. Glad to hear your dad's doing better. Hope your Saturday went as planned, and you had a good day. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

  12. Hope you are having a great weekend, my dear. It's a great step forward! Those waves of grief will continue to come, but I promise they do start to lessen. Take the good weekends as they come and don't be hard on yourself if you need others to just "be" again.

    I'm so glad to hear your dad is doing much better. Little blessings that make a big difference on our hearts.

  13. I'm new to your blog, but wanted to reach out and say how touched I am by your words.

    I can relate to your story with my own of multiple failures and the bittersweet, fleeting taste of a low beta.

    I am wishing all the best for you. And I do wish you luck as "onward you go".