Saturday, October 31, 2009

I'm a weenie on multiple levels.

So yesterday afternoon my nurse called. She said Dr. M was pleased with everything, with the estrogen, with the lining, etc. etc. So they told me to just stick with the plan, but the plan was a little more customized because of my early lining check and ample thickness. I'm just going to stay with one Vivelle patch every other day rather the standard increase to 2, then 3, then 4. I will go back for a lining check next Friday.


I asked her ten different ways if they didn't think my lining would keep growing and suddenly pop up at 20. She said it might grow a little bit, but not enough to worry about. She said you usually see the most growth in the beginning and then it tapers off. I don't know, I certainly know women who have to keep adding more and more estrogen to get their lining to grow little bits, so maybe it's get the most growth early on and then everything else is in tinier increments and dependent on how much exogenous estrogen is given??

Art vs. science.

I won't be on any oral estrogen and we're keeping my original transfer date.

Double gulp.

I'm such a weenie. I didn't insist on talking to the doctor. My nurse sounded like they had thoroughly discussed things and that everything was bueno.

Then I went to visit my sister and her family.

Here's my fantasy conversation:

"Mom needs you. Dad needs you. I can't go--I have this transfer coming up and I'd rather just stay at home."

Here's the actual conversation:

Get it? I didn't say anything.

Weenie ahoy!

Yes, my sister knows about CCRM (but doesn't read this blog...I think??). And yes she is very busy. I was witness to said busyness this weekend while I watched her juggle two very busy children, a full time job, and running a household. It's a lot. I get that.

I'll probably go one more time anyway. It makes me feel better. Otherwise, as Mr. LastChance pointed out, I'll just be worried about my parents and if I'm there, at least I can be there.

Thanks to all the commenters--Phoebe and Sue, I'm reassured. And to answer one of the commeners questions--it is my understanding that you can get too thick...but this is more on the order of 18 mm or more. Because in several of my diagnostics/surgeries different docs have noted a 'fluffy' lining that could be hyperplasic, we've just really wanted to make sure my lining didn't over fluff. One time it reached 19 mm on a Clomid cycle (!) so we're just being cautious. Did I ever tell you guys that Dr. M said as soon as we're finished with ART/pregnancies I need to give serious thought to doing something about my lining so I don't wind up with endometrial cancer? Oh the fun never ends.


  1. You're not a weenie, sometimes we tire, let go and find it less exhausting to just trust the doctor. With them keeping you on 1 patch, they are still customizing the protocol to you, so rest assure they are doing what they feel is best. So when is your transfer date now? I'm getting excited for you!

  2. I understand that with all you have been through, you are very anxious. I think Dr. M has you dialed in now. At some point, you do have to trust your doctor that she knows what she is doing. Ultimately, we just won't know what will happen until we get there, no matter how much our minds want to pretend that we can control the situation or outcome. I think that's kind of liberating, in the way that we don't have to feel like we are constantly on guard. I'm as much saying this to you as I am to myself!! I think there is much less at risk with an FET than an IVF cycle. You are doing your best with communicating with your clinic, and it sounds like a good plan that you are only on 1 patch for now. Looking forward to T-day!

  3. It does sound like they've customized it, and that your Doc is very in tune to the "YOU" factor that you carry! :)
    It's good you're going to see them, yes it sucks to travel but it will be nice to see them once before transfer day.
    I sent my good luck charm on- excited for you to get it! :)

  4. Gah - I cannot wait for this to be over for you - over with spectacular results.

  5. Well hopefully if you go visit your folks then you can go to your transfer guilt free, because with all the stress and anxiety I'm sure you don't need guilt too!

  6. So, your sister knows that you are still working with CCRM and didn't volunteer to take a shift with your parents?

    But I do agree with my sister, and even if going home is a pain, you can then get a transfer with a clear conscious!

  7. I had no idea that Dr. M said that about your lining...ugh, seriously, when can we stop thinking about these medical issues and surgeries and reproductive parts! I'm so glad they are customizing it to you. Like Dr. M said, in my experience, the lining does grow fast right away and then stays pretty steady...though mine gets wayyyy up there too, and I'm always scared about it (in my first CCRM fresh cycle transfer they kept saying I was likely to be cancelled b/c my lining was too thick about 4 days before ER! but it stayed at about 18). You are not a are just (I hate to say it) beaten down and tired. I get like that too. You just have to pick your battles when you start getting that tired. I'm excited about your transfer and your cycle...and am sending prayers to you and Mr. LC.

  8. I hope that things continue to go well. It stinks waiting for the other shoe to drop...I know. Just a little over a week now! I have a good feeling about this! Lara

  9. I'm getting so excited for you! You are not a weenie! Sometimes it's better to not get into a discussion. Stay positive. Thinking & praying for you & Mr. LC. Melissa :)