Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Exsqueeze me?

I got my calendar and my biopsy information. But naturally there were major problemos with it. Started off with my nurse saying: this month do your prometrium suppositores three times per day like always in the luteal phase.

Except I only do one at night and that's how it's always been.

Read the chart please.

And normally I take them for ten days to help lengthen the luteal phase and cut down on the hyperplasia so why, when I worked out their dates, did it have me taking them long enough to make my cycle 32 days long?

Sigh again.

And I know I got the standard FET calendar that doesn't use Lupron. Complete with copious amounts of Vivelle patches.

What the eff?

We'll see what tomorrow's email brings, since I wrote a super long one asking all the questions.

On another note--I was having this total fantasy the other day about how I would like to bring all of you along with me for this upcoming FET.

To hold my hand.

To wait in the waiting room with me.

To surround me with good vibes (I will not say 'baby dust'--gag!).

All of you who've been there for me through some Godawful dark times through this journey. I want your energy, I want to see your beautiful faces (those I've met and those I've only seen pictures of and some of whom (Kayjay....) that I've never seen and only imagine...I want to see you all around me.

Can you imagine if I showed up in the hallowed halls of CCRM with a freakin' posse? Ha!

If I can just get this calendar figured out and my body cooperates and the biopsies happen on schedule--well, I might just be out there in about a month.

Holy crap.


  1. Yay! I think a posse would be a fabulous way to march into CCRM!
    If I could only make it to Denver that day... It's a 5 hour drive- totally worth it! ;)
    BOO that your calendar was so generic, I hate that you're going to have to just push and ask and possibly NAG, but in the end you'll get YOUR calendar, it's just a hassle to deal with.
    I am so excited for your FET!

  2. Yay! I got excited when I saw that you had posted. =)

    But then I was doing angry fist punches in the air, because the peeps at CCRM are clearly messing with your plan. Perhaps the doc has solid reasons for going this route? I'm curious to see what she says.

    I would LOVE to be there with you during your transfer! A couple weeks ago, while I was having dinner with a couple IF blogger gals, I was fantasizing about having a big party, kind of like a high school reunion (only, less awkward), where everyone from the IF blogging community would attend. We'd all have name tags with our blog titles. We'd walk around hugging and high-fiving each other. I seriously got so excited about this idea. haha

    Even though we won't physically be there with you on the day of the transfer, we'll all be there in spirit! I want this to work for you! So much!

  3. I will send all my thoughts to you in Colorado. I might even wish you super dorky baby dust.

  4. I am so frustrated for you. Freaking ugh. It is so much worse doing this via phone/email over different time zones because there can be full day delays. This stuff sends me over the edge. I'm sorry they don't have it together right now.

    Maybe we can find a way to all "be there" in other ways. Would you be open to receiving a picture or good luck charm from each of us to take with you? Okay, maybe I shouldn't speak for everyone else, but I think it's safe to say you are very loved and wrangling the troops wouldn't take much more than an email or 2. (-;

  5. I so wish I could go with you!! You know my status, though, and I hope you also know that I will be praying for you guys and sending you lots of positive vibes!! And if you change your mind on the baby dust, I'll send some of that too :)

    Please post what you hear back from the Dr. I am curious to hear why she has veered from your expectations in regards to the schedule.

  6. We could call it "The Mall Crawl" (hee hee)! I guess you would have to know my nickname for that place to appreciate this. I'm in!

    What's with CCRM dropping the ball on you, again?? I'm glad you are on top of it, but how annoying. We are all going to have MDs after all this. If only we could make some money off it!

  7. I second Brenda's every word - it sucks that you have to manage your own FET cycle, but OF COURSE you will have all of us there in spirit, and easily in good-luck charms, too.

    I want to wish you more than just good luck - but what are all the things to wish for? Good timing, lots of patience, excellent thawing, chromosomal perfection, kind nurses, perfectionistic embryologists, good weather...

    I'm sure I'll think of lots more, but that's a start, anyway!

  8. I am so annoyed by CCRM right now! I can't believe that, after all of your discussions and agreements, they went back to a stupid, useless generic protocol. I usually love them but right now I'm very confused about how they have that great success rate. Ugh. I hope you get some answers!!! and, please post when they answer your email b/c I'm ticked.

    I think it would be great to show up at CCRM with a posse full of IFers! (Plus, it would be so much fun to meet up with everyone from the blogs finally! I feel like we've made a big family over the years). But, we'll be there in spirit!

  9. That is really annoying and unprofessional - I hope they get their shit together ASAP. I will totally be there in spirit.

    Lisa from meinsideout

  10. You know, I have been amazingly disillusioned at how NOT on top of it they are with these kinds of little details. *sigh* Guess it probably has something to do with the fact that the number of patients they treat keeps going up but the number of doctors is static (or gone down).

    I haven't been following your story as long as many others but I would still love to be there to support you. And indeed it is possible that I might be... again. :)

  11. I am so irritated and sorry that CCRM keeps messing things up with your schedule! I wish that you could go straight to Dr M without being charged a fee every time you have a question. I hope that the nurse makes these corrections and quick, otherwise I would think about sending an email to Dr M to express your frustrations.

    I would love to come to CCRM for your transfer and to meet all of the wonderful blog friends! But since I can't I will for surely be there in spirit for you and sending you all of my sticky vibes. Just imagine a big pileup of hands on top of yours (like a team huddle) while you are there...we will all be there holding your hand:)

  12. This is ridiculous that they are messing it up at this stage in the game. THINK people! Maybe I will have to go to CCRM- to be supportive of you of course, but also to kick your nurse's ass. Let's take it outside!

  13. Oh, I'm sad. I wrote a good comment and someway or another I deleted it, now you just get this crappy comment.

    Anyway, I was saying that I will be there in spirit and I'll send all my good vibes your way!

  14. what a great idea for all of us to join you. I'd be there in a heartbeat (even if only to punch some lazy dumbass not doing their job.)

    I would show up with bunch of fresh cut flowers (orange and dark red) and I would cheer you on with heartfelt enthusiasm!


  15. I would go in a heart beat. It's so hard, that sense of being alone when all you want to do is have support - so much support - enough to force it to work, huh?

    Hope you get the crap part worked out.

  16. Ugh, why can't they get it right!!!!???? Is $25k/cycle per patient not enough incentive to be on top of things? I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I hope they get it right next time and it's smooth sailing from there on out.

    Wish we could be your posse at transfer, I'd be totally rooting you on. Some day we need to meet, I think us and our DHs would have a blast together.

  17. For heaven's sake - CCRM get it together would ya?? It is incredibly frustrating to get the "generic" schedule and it irks me to no end to have to put my hand up and say "HELLOOOOO - won't work for me!". Sucks I tell you.

    I am with you every single step of the way missy and will be there in spirit during the FET with ya! Just try to keep me out!