Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Is a Q&A pompous?

So I have a few topics swirling around in my little lipid factoid addled brain but none are bubbling to the surface and writing themselves into lucid posts.

I wondered if it would be fun (?) to have readers, or lurkers, or whoever, ask questions. I mean, not that anyone is sitting around just dying to know things about me, but every now and again someone does pose a question in a comment and I realize I never go back and revisit those...so maybe here's your chance? Your chance to question LastChance?

I imagine the questions will be about infertility, child-free stuff, adoption, etc. etc. but I guess I'm open to other stuff too...

And if this is an epic fail of a post, well, I'm used to dealing with failure so no biggie.


  1. I like this idea (i've been a lurker). For a Q&A I've been wondering how you got to CCRM, and if you thought it was worthwhile to go there. Knowing what you know now, would you even bother? This looks like our next step as well as our last step.

    Also, have you ever read Sweet Grapes? I think you should update the book with your own experiences. We gals who deep inside feel that sting that this WON'T ever work (but who try to kid ourselve that hey, maybe another 15k loan will do it...) need some kind of map to follow when we cross that line. There's not much out there that provides guidance...

  2. This is a great idea! There are several questions I have wanted to ask you but felt it was presumptuous to use the comment section of your blog as my own personal therapy session.

    Ditto to the question above. I would love to know if you thought CCRM was worth it and if you would still go if you had it to do over.

    I would also like to know how you cope with other blogger's IVF successes. I admire that you have stayed such an active and supportive member of the infertility blogging community. I find that I retreat from blogs when I am dealing with bad news or fears because others' successes rub serious salt in my wounds. How have you been able to continue despite your past losses?

  3. If you had an infinite amount of money, would you keep doing IVF "until it worked"? Or would you, at some point, decide that enough is enough? If you would, where do you think that magic line in the sand is for you?

    What scares you most about the thought of adopting?

  4. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for making me appreciate what I have. We are completely opposite but strangely similar.

  5. Pompous? Hardly. Extremely generous. And brave.

    (By way of background, I have been following your blog on Google Reader for some time now. 40, 1 miscarriage from natural pregnancy, 3 failed or converted IVF's, called it quits, then a "miracle" natural pregnancy that ended in miscarriage this week. Luckily, nearly all covered by insurance, albeit spendy insurance.)

    My question--and you may not be open to answering it, which is, of course, totally fine--is why not donor eggs? I ask this because that is the course we have recently chosen and I am just wondering if there is something I have not considered. It's certainly not our first choice, but I am slowly coming to terms with having only the single biological connection to our child. But I feel "related" to my husband.

    I would appreciate any of your insights. You have such a lovely blog!

    Thanks MTM

  6. Pompous? Not at all!!:)

    Through it all you have been so supportive of me and have continued to comment on my blog. Is this difficult or challenging for you considering my current situation? Every time I see a comment from you I am immediately in awe and thankful that you are here to support me still. Thank you!!

  7. I just want to know, do you actually buy a lotto ticket now and then? Am I generating these numbers in vain for you? Come on, confess ALL

    I don't know what else to do for ya, the fertility spell on ebay involved your involvement.

  8. I have just started folowing your blog and while I tried to catch up on old posts, you may have answered these before.

    Once I think you said you were a Dr or had a doctoral? in what?

    How many IVFs did you try before? Does the RE have any idea where you should go from here?

    I would love to adopt but DH is against it and very stubborn, what is your view point? Do you disagree or agree with your DH?

    When were you married and where?

    What year did you graduate HS? college?

    How in the world can you run for that long? (one of the numbers in the last post) I've tried before but I wear out easily, any pointers you could share? Or should I give up now?? LOL

    What will you be doing in NY? Will we get pics to see?

  9. i want to know what shampoo you use. and if you like chocolate or vanilla. and what song makes you cry, and what you want to be when you grow up. :o)

  10. I've thought about this for my blog...just haven't done it.

    I'd like to see a meal plan for a week, my cooking friend.

  11. Mainly I just want to know about lipids. They sound GREAT! :)

    Actually, there are so many questions, that I don't know where to start. There's virtually a whole evening over a few bottles of wine and a takeaway's worth, but I'm not sure that our local Chinese delivers transatlantically.

    In the interim: how is your Mum? How much have you told her about the treatment? Does she understand? How is she coping with the double stress of your Dad and your treatment. Mums watch you grow up and want to look after you until their last breath and both issues must be sucking her emotions dry. Tell her we're thinking of her too.

    And how about your DH? How does he cope with the failures? What does he think about keeping going or stopping? Is he a blogger? What does he think about you sharing your private details online? Does he have friends he confides in? To what extent are you putting yourself through this for you, and how much for you both, and how much for him? (I lived in constant fear that J was putting herself through it more to provide me with children so she wasn't 'letting me down' than for herself. She tells me that isn't the case, but it clouded every discussion about whether we should go again...)

    I want to know your favourite memory of your time with your Dad - the one that makes you cry with happiness still.

    I want to know what makes you so good at baring your soul confidently to the world. I also want to know if you're open to being canonised at the end of it all.

    Have you read 'So Close' by Tertia Albertyn? (And have I already recommended it?) Get it and give it to any friend that you want to understand the heartache of infertility.

    And finally, do your supermarket pharmacies offer fertility drugs? I discovered in one of the London free papers that we could have bought our fertility drugs from my local Tesco pharmacy for about half the price we paid our enormously expensive clinic. If only we'd known we'd have saved ourselves thousands of pounds (which used to be a lot of money before sterling tanked) in our 5 IVFs. Worth checking if you haven't already...

    Keep up the great creativity of posts - though you're setting a terribly unfair benchmark for the rest of us...

  12. I've wondered how you felt about readers who haven't experienced IVF and who do have children. I am now infertile technically, after a life saving, emergency hysterectomy following the birth of my third child. My anxieties are different than women dealing with infertility on the front end (and I did not intend to have more children), but I find that some of what I feel about my body and experience is sometimes mirrored in some infertility blogs. I think reading these blogs has also helped me support several friends who are doing IVF now.

  13. First, thank you for continuing to write and being so open. I worry about what my life will look life if we don't end up with a bio baby, but I think you are a wonderful example of not letting infertility suck ALL of the life out of you. Personally, every time I walk by the psych unit where I work, I can hardly resist swiping my badge to see if the door opens, you know, just in case I need a little rest :p

    I too have been curious about why you chose CCRM and if your diagnosis is unexplained IF.

    And....since you are mid thirties like myself and we all know we our eggs don't hang around forever, are you tempted to fund one more IVF?

    Oh, one more Q - I was 29 when we started TTC, and a nurse at my first RE's office asked why we had waited SO long to start a family. Has anyone ever made that assumption of you and how did/would you respond?

    P.S. How do you make all of those decadent desserts and only have an extra 8 pounds hanging around???

  14. Wow! Lots of great questions!!! I can't wait to read the responses. I'm dying to know if you ever plan on writing a book?

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  16. Great post. I love the idea. I want to know, if you were able to do your whole infertility journey over, what, if anything, would you do differently?

  17. I would love to ask a few questions... I just feel like everyone else's are so much better. (I have question envy).
    Hmm... To throw a few out there, maybe:
    How do you feel that infertility has affected your faith? Or how has your faith affected your response to infertility?
    Can you write a haiku that sums up your entire life?
    Do you have any recipes for quinoa? I'd love to try it. (I think you should do a whole cooking Q&A post, actually)
    That's all I got for now...

  18. I wanna play. =) (and you are SO not pompous)

    One thing I've wondered:

    If you could afford 1 more cycle, do you think you'd be open to trying gestational surrogacy? I'm not implying that your womb is the "problem", but this approach would be changing up one major factor......and could possibly result in success? If this question pisses you off, I'm sorry. I'm Crazy Gestational Surrogacy Lady, and I can't help it. =)

    Another question: Why don;t we live closer???

  19. I love this idea! There are lots of great questions above, particularly IF-related ones, so I'll stick to a food one since we both love to bake: What is the favorite thing (or couple of things) you've ever baked? (Recipes, please!)

    I have a feeling all of these questions are going to give you enough blogging topics to last 6 months! :-)

  20. Love this idea, most of my questions have been asked so Ill wait for the replies...

  21. Hello Mrs LC, love this post and the above questions. Mine are: how is your book going (you are such a great writer), what books do you love, why did you never drink alcohol and (hope I'm not being controversial but it pains me although it doesn't happen often) do you feel betrayed when women who have been in the IF trenches and then find success blog like they've never been there at all?

  22. Love this idea. I, too, am curious about the last part of elliej's quesstion... I also want to know where I can buy mr LC's CD. Hopefully that is easy to answer!!

    This is totally not pompous - it's a fabulous idea!

  23. I would like to know how your lipid expertise plays into your thoughts about possible reasons for your IF. What about CRP? Have you had any crazy inflammatory labs drawn just for the heck of it? I often wonder.....

  24. This is a great idea, not pompous at all :)

    My questions (which of course you don't have to answer, only if you want to):

    1. Does it bother you when people who have adopted tell you they couldn't love the child more if it was biologically related to them?

    2. Do you and your DH ever consider living child free?

    3. What are your next steps re: getting a child? I don't think you've said yet on here.

  25. If you could have planned your ideal family, how many kids would you have now, or have eventually?

    Do you ever find yourself planning for baby #2, without yet having had baby #1? (this is something that I am guilty of doing)

  26. I love reading the questions too! That has been really interesting to me and I hope you'll answer some because it is really fascinating!

    I have an easy one. What do you guys eat? You know I've been on a quest to learn how to make some stuff, and I prefer meat free meals...so what is a typical dinner for you two?

  27. Wow!!! Mrs. LC, this was such a great post and the comments are amazing! I think it's time for a live chat with all of your readers!!!

  28. SeriouslY? I am so giddy at the idea, I can't even think of what I want to ask!!

    1. Would you be willing to share any more cool videos with us?
    2. If you could have any career in the world, regardless of degree or salary, what would it be?
    3. What made you finally go to CCRM?
    4. Do you have anyone else in either family that has had to deal with IF at this level? Do you have anyone you can share with IRL, besides DH?
    5. If you could join any reality TV show, would you? And which one?

  29. Dear gawd, girl, you have your work cut out for you with this post. LOL. My mind is on major overload just reading all of these questions! I say answer what you are up for now and work your way into the rest in due time. There is a lot of serious stuff to process here!

    When are we going to meet up? (-;

  30. I'd love to know what your next step may be. perhaps you wrote it in another blog post, but I may have missed it. Where do you see yourself going from here. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

  31. Wowser you have a lot of questions to answer!!! See how loved you are! I won't add anymore as I think you already have your work cut out for you. Looking forward to reading all the answers.