Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Stop the presses!

Gaining a little weight can cure your infertility!

At least, that's what I heard at our healthcare provider meeting this morning.


I work with a lot of intelligent people. Six top notch endocrinologists and eleven mid-level providers. We have a provider meeting every Tuesday morning at 7:30 a.m. to discuss late-breaking trials, medication updates, etc. etc. On a bad day I have to make a presentation about some random lipoprotein condition, thankfully, I wasn't on today. Today's official topic was hypo.gonadism. Good times all around.

But before the meeting started I was privy to this conversation:

Provider A: "Remember Sally (not her real name, duh!)? The one who did infertility treatments forever and they never worked? And then got pregnant last year on her own? She's pregnant again! At age 40!"

Provider B: Sounds like she just needed a reset.

Provider A: (said with confidence!) I think she just needed to gain weight. That's my take on the whole thing. She gained a little weight and now look--two pregnancies!

Side note: Sally was not anorexic. Not in the least. She was on the thin side of average, at best.

Provider B: Wow--two babies under age two at age 40--be careful what you wish for.

At this point my I could feel heat in my face, and then my face melted right off.


Thanks, healthcare providers, fellow coworkers, for being so stooopid. And yes, most of my coworkers know about my infertility and repeated rounds of treatment.


And just a quick poll: if you had to go through IF treatment and got lucky and it worked and you were expecting multiples and you were traveling out of state and surprise--your babies came really early--would you go back to your home state for three weeks and leave those babies behind in the NICU...you know, so you could finish the nursery and get the house ready? Just curious.


  1. If gaining weight could get you pregnant the circumference of my right ass-cheek alone would have earned me sextuplets...

    As for your question, I'd ask for a bucket to piss in before I left my babies for even a bathroom trip. But maybe that's just me.

  2. *banging head against computer* WHY? Why are people so dumb? Sigh....

    And WTF? Leave the kids in the NICU? Alone? To paint? WTF?? Please don't tell me that is a true story, my head can only take so much banging.

  3. um no......I would stay with the babies at the NICU....the babies don't care about the nursery, they only care about you!!!!! please tell this story so my face can get hot too!!!!!

  4. I had to read the poll question a few times. WTF?! Some people are infuriating!!!

  5. ugh what a pain in the ass. on both counts. yea, that's just what infertile girls need! a couple more pounds!! haha

    and you know my vote for the bottom question. i can't even formulate the words to comment.

  6. To the first part: WHAT?

    To the second part: WWWHHAAAAAAAAAATTT???

  7. OMG! The ignorance is overflowing....

    And LEAVE THE BABIES?!?! To finish a nursery!?!

    Oh wow...

  8. Ummm...NO! NO! NO! WTF?! How could one's priorities be that f*cked up?

    And your coworker's advice sounds like the assvice Michelle Dugger gave infertiles last year: just pray harder. UGH! Let's see...praying didn't work for me, and neither did paying someone $25k, so perhaps all it will take is gaining a little weight. Maybe I should also take up smoking, that seemed to work for my 43 year-old neighbor.

  9. If that were true I would be one fertile myrtle.... So sorry about that idiotic conversation.

    As for your poll question: Umm, Hell No!! Isn't that what in-laws are for???

  10. Uhhhh, no words. Speechless on all counts.

  11. OMG on the weight comment. And the "be careful what you wish for comment."

    I have no words for the NICU question. NO WORDS.

  12. Oh man, when I feel the heat in my face, words are soon to follow. Sorry you work with idiots. (My idiot boss likes to argue why IF should not be covered by insurance.)

    As for leaving one's babies in the NICU, I hope her mothering skills kick in soon.

  13. Please, please, please don't tell me this is about who I think it is about (the SO of an MD you know). I am about to pull my hair out! Not just no, but HELL NO YOU COULD NOT MAKE ME LEAVE THEM!

    And ugh. The conversation. Really, really? Because next week they'll be talking about Susie who was overweight and finally got pregnant because she lost weight. Reset my ass.

  14. Lose weight. Gain weight. Relax. Get pregnant. Don't drink. Don't drink caffeine. WHATEVER. I'm so tired of this being about what I do. For crying outloud, people get pregnant all the time - stressed out, on heroin, fat, thin, drunk, addicted to starbucks. It's infertility, people.

    And you know what I think about the nicu thing. I wouldn't leave. The nursery, ha.

  15. If those NICU babies need new parents, you know where to find us.

  16. Lame-O comments from the Dr.'s. They just need to feel like they have answers...and swift kick to the head.

    And as for your question...WTF?

  17. HA. I'm with Melissa G. - if gaining weight was the solution, I'd have more kids than two Duggard families at this point.

    I don't even want to know who it is who left their kids alone in the NICU. There are no words.

  18. Your story made me shake my head. Your poll made me want to pound my head on the table.

  19. Seriously? (about your poll question). Someone did that? There is NO WAY I'd leave the NICU or the general vicinity of the NICU. NO WAY. I'll be honest, I was in an online due date group with fellow IF sufferers and I am SHOCKED at how little consideration they are giving the babies they fought so hard for. Its like, now that they are here, they aren't worth really worrying about. Some of them are great...but others are just surprisingly uncaring. Rushing into solid foods b/c they are annoyed at the babies waking up at night, putting them to sleep on their tummies b/c "they like it so much better that way", etc...I mean, was I the only one running to the bassinet every hour to check if she was still ok? Its amazing.

    And, I'm sorry about really stoooopid people and the things they say. BTW, my SIL is approaching anorexic skinny and didn't want to have a baby b/c it would "ruin her body" and "it is icky" and she went off the pill to humor her husband and literally, within the 2 months she gave her husband to conceive (at 36 years old and like 100 lbs) she is due in August (well, July b/c she wanted the c-section early to avoid stretch marks). Ugh. I love her, but this whole thing just makes me sick. It gets worse, but you've heard enough annoying stories like this I'm sure.

  20. Unless the weight gain is responsible for ovulation in someone so underweight that the body's in preservation mode or the person's body fat is just too low (think body builders), I've read no science that indicates weight gain improves fertility.

    But that's still not as bad as the general consensus that going on vacation and relaxing will make you pregnant.

    I would leave my baby in the hospital NICU so I could go home, shower and sleep and then I'd be back. I can't really see flying/driving to my home in another state so I could get a nursery ready, clean the bathroom or wipe down my countertops. I mean, fuck it! Those things will get done when they get done.

    I would have to be, literally, just down the road from the hospital in case anything happened suddenly that I could be there in a flash.

    But that's just me. To each their own, I guess.

  21. I'm so sorry about those comments from your co-workers - it's always particularly painful when people make comments like that when they KNOW that it's something that you're going through.

    As to the question - I would be considering calling social services on someone that would leave their prem. babies in another state to go and prettify their house!

  22. My mouth is wide open... though I don't know why I still get surprised when I hear medical "professionals" say such stupid things. I'll be sending you a personal message on my recent encounter with my GYN nurse.

  23. Barf. All around. And as for the poll, please tell me that is not a real scenario. What. A. Freak.

  24. Um, I'm sorry, what? I must not have read the NICU question correctly. Seriously. You must have missed a few words like "NOT leave your babies in the NICU".

    As for the folks you work with, its further proof to me that even people that are "experts" or work in the field don't really get it, they don't really understand.

  25. Man, you are so silly spending all that money on treatments when you could have just eaten some cookies!

    and to your question NO. My son was in the level II nursery and he was basically FINE and they couldn't MAKE me leave the hospital much less go to my house 3 blocks away. so NO.

  26. The poll? Well, like everyone else I'm horrified, but I'm trying to give this hypothetical person the benefit of the doubt.

    Maybe money was an issue? Hospitals generally don't provide a room for parents with babies in the NICU and staying at a hotel on a long term basis adds up quickly. I had to stay at a hotel out-of-state for about ten days after our surrogate delivered our baby, waiting for the baby to be cleared to fly home. And the bills (hotel + rental car + meals) were incredible.

    Or, is it possible that she needs to go back to work -- for financial reasons or to try and save some leave for once the babies come home?

  27. I would NEVER leave the NICU for something as asinine as decorating a room. Who gives a rats ass about paint colors. You can decorate a room ANYtime!

  28. Sorry about the lame colleagues.

    I can't imagine leaving newborns for 3 weeks in the NICU, with family, ... anywhere! Is she dealing with PPD?

  29. I wish you were a big fat liar... I hate people sometimes.
    Oh, wait I guess if you were a big "Fat" liar, you'd have a Duggar-litter by now? Proof that money can in some cases buy a medical degree.... oy.

    And I just NEED you to be lying about the NICU thing... because I'm really beginning to wonder about society....

  30. WAIT!! How did I miss this post of yours??? OK, first, weight gain theory has some merit for those women who are not ovulating and ONLY have that issue impeding on getting pregnant - other than that, it's horse shit! Like so many posts stated - skinny people, fat people, drug addicts, hookers, teenagers addicted to diet pills, CEOs addicted to caffeine, sugar addicts and carbohydrate dough eaters ALLLL GET PREGNANT... everyday. Sorry Drs, I am not buying the silver bullet - my theory these days is that it's plain ol' fashion GOOD LUCK vs. BAD LUCK and yes, those are clinical terms :)

    As far as the poll - I don't even understand how there could be a contemplation for parents to consider not being there with their babies - but since I live in NYC, the land of nannies-raising-babies and baby-nurses being the ones feeding the babes at midnight, and designer C-sections, that story doesn't seem that far off from the reality of what parents here do and don't do for their children.
    For me - I would NEVER leave my babies' side, even if I had to sleep on a plastic chair, be there without a change of clothes or a toothbrush... never ever!