I don't know why I'm having some trouble blogging lately.
As in, I sit down to type/post and I just sit here.
I mean, I have tons to say, and clearly I've never been too shy to share before. I have no idea what's going on.
I had written a rant post about some stupid new Lowe's commercial and a fertile couple's blathering about wanting to have a bigger family purely because of the super-fancy fridge the salesman was showing them (huh?). I was ranting not because they were fertile (ok maybe just a little bit) but because the mister and I are big believers in zero population growth and naturally we think everyone should feel the same way :) My mom taught me that concept as a young kid--I can remember her patiently explaining to me that I would not be getting a baby brother or sister because they had already 'replaced' themselves with my sister and I and that was the environmentally sound thing to do.
Paul Simon sang it best: "The planet groans every time it registers another birth."
Fertile or infertile, I do not believe in large biological families. I'm sure that offends some people but it's just my opinion. And true, the Lowe's couple could've been talking about adoption....
At any rate, now it seems I've just regurgitated that draft post and there it is.
On another note, there was a question in my comments section about pursuing adoption versus donor eggs.
It's complicated and then it's not.
Certainly we thought about donor eggs. I had several incredibly generous offers to have a known donor (though my request to my sister was met with a less than enthusiastic response, something that hurt nearly as much as the damned infertility in the first place, but it's water under the bridge now...), and then we considered anonymous donor as well. But not for very long. It just wasn't a good fit for me--I didn't like the idea of my husband's genetics combined with some other woman's genetics. It's an amazing gift, to donate an egg. I was too worried about how some woman might feel years later, maybe after she'd had a child of her own, about the egg she gave away when she was younger. And yes, I get that birth mothers likely experience similar emotions. Plus I wanted it to be out in the open right from the get-go...as in physically obvious...that I wasn't genetically related to my child. Which is one of the reasons why we went international. But that's just me.
Then there's the whole non-guarantee of donor eggs. I've seen too many times where donor eggs didn't work. And that, folks, was something my heart just could not take. It's been trampled on too many times and it is screaming to be happy. Not that international adoption is without heartache in and of itself (see last post), but there is a fairly good chance we'll wind up with a child when all is said and done.
I completely understand that my logic is flawed and maybe even slightly crazy, so please no need to correct or persuade or try to make me see things differently.
Our decision has been made.
P.S. Do we get credit for negative population growth?
P.P.S. I'll end this right now because I just baked cinnamon rolls from scratch and while they don't look too purty, they sure smell divine and they're calling my name....
3 years ago