Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day

It's the obligatory Mother's Day post.

And yes, I feel a little sad that no one made me breakfast or took me out for a special meal, I didn't get any adorable homemade card and no one whispered a well-rehearsed "Happy Mother's Day" into my ear.

But I'm an adult. I can understand why I'm in the place I'm in.

So I cannot feel too sad for me.

Instead, my heart is breaking for the millions of children who long to do those very things to a mother of their own, but they cannot.

For they are motherless.

Due to poverty, disease, abuse--whatever the reason they are motherless.

And they are children.

And they are innocent.

And they cannot understand why the world is so cruel to them.

And they cannot understand why we--fertile or infertile, it makes no difference--do not scoop them up into our arms and give them the love they so very much deserve.

It is not a happy Mother's Day for them.

And I think we should not--we cannot--forget them.

Sinead O'Connor is one of my favorite singers of all times. The first time I heard this song I cried. I had no idea the road before me at the time, but maybe it was prophetic.

This is to mother you
To comfort you and get you through
Through when your nights are lonely
Through when your dreams are only blue
This is to mother you
This is to be with you
To hold you and to kiss you too
For when you need me I will do
What your own mother didn't do
Which is to mother you
All the pain that you have known
All the violence in your soul
All the 'wrong' things you have done
I will take from you when I am come
All mistakes made in distress
All your unhappiness
I will take away with my kiss, yes
I will give you tenderness
For child I am so glad I've found you
Although my arms have always been around you
Sweet bird although you did not see me
I saw you
And I'm here to mother you
To comfort you and get you through
Through when your nights are lonely
Through when your dreams are only blue
This is to mother you

I will not dwell on my own circumstances today. For I have a mother. A wonderful mother who raised me and loved me and hugged me and told me how much I was loved.

And I knew it, without a doubt. With 100% certainty I knew was loved.

So for me, it is a Happy Mother's Day indeed.

21 comments:

  1. Your mom is lucky to have you as a daughter.

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  2. I totally agree- it is very lucky that we have mothers to love us, regardless of our circumstance in life.
    It is a hard day for some people to endure, but I think you've hit the nail on the head with your sentiments.

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  3. what a lovely perspective. and this is why i love you, always shedding light where it needs to be lit.

    i tried to focus completely on my mom and nana today but i was unprepared for the acute pain i felt in my heart. thanks for reminding me again of how well off i am in terms of love.

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  4. You are indeed a wonderful, beautiful daughter.

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  5. I tried to just focus on my mother too. I still feel sad for you though :( And for me. And for all of us who find ourselves "here." Hope you have a good night.

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  6. Thoughtful post. I always wonder how they feel- those with no moms or those who have lost their moms (like the Haitian children)- on mother's day. I guess because I can't imagine not having mine and not having her around. There should be better solutions to the former at least- each child should have an opportunity to have parents whether mothers or fathers or both. I know your mom loves you to bits!

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  7. Bam! your post hit me so hard!! I love reading your blog, it's always so poignant. Thanks for reminding us to keep our hearts open and to be gracious for what we DO have!! ((hugs))

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  8. I spent the weekend focusing on my Mom too. I found it much easier to focus on making her day special rather than dwell on any pain. Thanks for your post. :)

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  9. just wanted to give you a little virtual hug--glad this mother's day was a little easier for you!

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  10. What a nice post! It is very obvious how much you love your mother and how much your mother loves you. For the sadness that I know is inside you on this day, I send you lots of virtual hugs!

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  11. What beautiful lyrics. And I agree. Even without my mom, even without a child to hold (yet), there is no more upsetting victim than the child who has never known a mother's love. We all deserve at least that.

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  12. That song was beautiful! Thank you for sharing! My husband and I would like to adopt someday, even if/when this crazy infertility road leaves us with a child of our own. You are SO right. There are SO many babies and children in our world who need loving parents, it's heartbreaking.

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  13. Great post. Everyone needs a mom, biologically related or not. Love is what really matters.

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  14. Really a wonderful point of view...

    ...and CONGRATS on passing your test!

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  15. Lasty! We had such a great time with you when you were in town (BRAG). And did you know that Mary J. Blige just remade This Is To Mother You, and all proceeds from iTunes sales go to the girls at GEMS? Martha B. who sang backup sang at the birthday party they had last year at the Bowery Poetry Club, of all places. It's a wonderful companion to a beautiful post!

    <3

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  16. Thanks for being such an incredible person who continues to inspire me to be better. Your perspective as always is incredible...

    Still sending hugs for those other crappy parts...

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  17. Hmmm. Well. There was another post 'Home Sweet Home' I think, that showed up in my google reader, with more pictures and you wrote that you passed...but now looking on the blog I see it isn't here. Maybe you published it then deleted it but it still showed there?? :-)

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  18. That's such a positive take on Mother's Day. I suppose there are a lot of us out there that owe much of our desire to be a mother to being mothered well - I know I do. We may not (yet) have hit the jackpot in the offspring department, but we have been so lucky in the maternal one.

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  19. Lovely post and tribute to your Mom...

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