Finally.

OK, this is IT. The last of the "answers" posts. I'm supposed to be studying (when am I not?) but instead I wanted to get these answers out there because they're hanging over my head (I'm a nerd like that). And then I will get back to my regularly scheduled blogging activities. NOT that I haven't enjoyed this--I have, immensely--I just tend to get so wordy with my answers that these posts are marathon ones.

But first--the last post I wrote about my beef with the term "blessed." It's because of this Webster definition:

divinely or supremely favored;

It's that 'favored' part that gets me. So that's probably why I don't like the term, but I understand others' comments about their beliefs/use of the term. Just a difference of opinions, no big whoop.

QUESTION 1: I accidentally skipped Melissa's question about writing a book. Yes, I do want to write a book. I enjoy writing. I always wanted to be a writer first...when I was little. Incredibly, my parents always pushed and encouraged me regarding creative writing (I mean, what parents dream their children will be in a field fraught with rejection?) Somehow I wound up in healthcare, which I also enjoy. But I do hope to one day get it all out there, maybe juxtaposing my IF journey with my previous life as a teacher of teenage mothers (because there are stories there that just couldn't be made up). So ummmm, yeah. When I finish prepping for the boards my next thing is to start writing. And keep on doing it until I get somewhere.

QUESTION 2: Meg asks about using a gestational carrier. Well, as I mentioned in the last post, I was never super concerned about my uterus until the last couple of cycles, when I started wondering why everyone who ever looked at it made a comment about it's 'fluffy' appearance (don't you love the medical terms?). Fluffy sounds so nice and hospitable, but alas, not so much. At any rate, I think my eggs are the bigger problem and so no, we never really thought much beyond just trying to make some nice looking embryos. And we all know how that story went.

And Meg--yes, I want to know when we will meet too!

QUESTION 3:
Rebecca, a fellow baker, wants to know what is the best thing I've ever baked. I'd have to say homemade bread. I love it, I could eat an entire loaf in one sitting, and the smell of homemade bread baking is just divine. The recipe I use has a starter, that you feed, and then you make the dough, let it rise, punch it down, let it rise again--all in all a 2-3 day process. But it is so worth it. I'll have to post the recipe another day, it's long and wordy.

QUESTION 4:
Comes from the lovely Ellie, whom I've had the pleasure of meeting in person just by chance (so lucky!). I think I answered the book question above, as far as my own book.

She also asks what books I love: far too many to list here. I love to read and a good book is a pleasure that is hard to beat. I definitely love memoirs, probably the best. There is something about knowing what you're reading is true, and that the author persevered to get to a place to write about it and have their story heard...it just resonates with me.

Ellie also asks why did I never drink alcohol? It's true. I'm a non-drinker and have been all my life. I think I've finished 2-3 alcoholic drinks TOTAL in my entire life. Initially it was a control thing--everyone I saw that drank was out of control (teenage years) and there was no.way.I.was.going.to.act.that.stupid. Then when I tasted it I didn't like it...my tongue gets numb... My parents never drank either, so maybe growing in a family that didn't drink made it more 'normal' for me not to either? Mr. LC doesn't drink any alcohol at all anymore either so I guess we're oddballs together.

Ellie's last question: do you feel betrayed when women who have been in the IF trenches and then find success blog like they've never been there at all? Well, yes and no. Usually, if someone crossed over and becomes a standard "Mommy blogger" I'm not going to keep reading. So I guess I just no longer pay attention as much. I'm sure it's impossible not to want to just gush and gush about your new life on the other side, but aside from knowing that you made it there (and probably digging into details of HOW) I probably won't check in quite as often anymore.

QUESTION 5:
Claudia: Email me and I'll tell you how to get the mister's CD. It's available nationwide, at a major online retailer, but since I'm still trying to keep this sort of anonymous I won't get more detailed than that.

QUESTION 6:
Anonymous asks about my lipid/medical expertise and how that plays into this--specifically, inflammatory markers. OK guys--I have a confession. I haven't had my own labs done in years. Well, aside from all the ridiculous ones required by CCRM, and a very thorough adrenal work up that I ordered on myself (perk) I have elected not to know my current lipid/inflammatory marker status. Clearly I don't think that's my issue. I know I have high cholesterol (thanks Mom and Dad!)--it's been crazy high in the past. Since I couldn't treat it with meds due to TTC I just worked on diet (vegetarian) and exercise and try to stay as healthy as possible. I know. I need to get some labwork done. Clinicians make the worst patients.

QUESTION 7:
Anonymous 2 asks
Does it bother you when people who have adopted tell you they couldn't love the child more if it was biologically related to them?
I don't think it really bothers me. I have bristled for years at the suggestion of adoption because you really have to be in the right frame of mind and process a lot of grief related to IF before those suggestions don't bother you. I guess I'm glad to hear someone say they love their child, but I wish there wasn't a comparison ever.

2. Do you and your DH ever consider living child free?
All.the.time. Because, aside from IF, our lives are pretty good. We have jobs we both enjoy, we have hobbies we both enjoy, we have volunteer experiences that we both enjoy, we love the city in which we live, we love our lifestyle. We are very lucky in all of these areas. But at the end of the day, we always fast forward 10-15 years and can't really imagine ourselves without children.

3. What are your next steps re: getting a child? I don't think you've said yet on here.
I haven't said on here yet because I'm just not there yet.

QUESTION 8:
SmittenKitten asks ideally how many kids we'd have, if we had a choice.
Two most definitely. I had one sibling, Mr. LC had one sibling, two kids just seems natural and right for us. As far as thinking about the second before having the first...not really...except when we were really naive with our first IVF and thought if we had some frozens (which of course we knew we'd get!) then wham, bam, there would be our siblings and we'd never have to do IVF again. Are you laughing? It's ok, go ahead and laugh.

QUESTION 9:
Penny..I put my sad meal plan up on last post. This week we're having homemade empanadas, those naan pizzas again, polenta with black beans, spaghetti squash with fresh tomatoes and homemade bread, and a vegetable plate: sweet potatoes, broccoli, and green beans. Yes, I have already planned the week. We went grocery shopping today, so what can I say?

QUESTION 10:
Rambler asks a few:
1. Would you be willing to share any more cool videos with us? Yes indeedio. Stay tuned.
2. If you could have any career in the world, regardless of degree or salary, what would it be? Some type of performer--most likely a dancer on Broadway.
3. What made you finally go to CCRM? I think I've answered this--but in a word, desperation.
4. Do you have anyone else in either family that has had to deal with IF at this level? Do you have anyone you can share with IRL, besides DH? No one in my family has IF. My sister had two easy conceptions/pregnancies. All my cousins (and there are a LOT of them) had easy conceptions--one was 41 when she conceived her daughter and I have one cousin with a chronic, fatal illness who was told NOT to get pregnant and yup--two children (who both have a milder form of the same disease, but that's a whole other post). I do have some good friends who I share with, but I have definitely shared the most right here on the web.
5. If you could join any reality TV show, would you? And which one? No thanks.

QUESTION 9:
Brenda asks when we will meet.
You see, folks, Brenda is my IF twin. We really are two IF peas in a pod. And I would love to meet her. So as soon as we can, we need to make it happen.

QUESTION 10:
Tishi asks about our next steps and where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I don't have any firm answers for next steps, but in five years I definitely see myself as a mother. Some way, some how, it will happen.

Whew.

I am exhausted.

Thank you for all your lovely questions and also for hanging in as I blabbed on and on about me, so selfishly.