I'm exhaling.

I've been running around all morning with my cell phone and home phone attached to me. If they rang my heart lurched.

Dr. M just called--she had the report.

It's the best we've ever had!

So 6 will be vitrified. Oh GAWD, I forgot to re-confirm vitrification...but I know we discussed this and would they even slow freeze anything anymore??

At any rate, I forgot to tell you that we found out one of the late-ICSI's fertilized which gave us seven total, and 6 were still dividing today. For us, that's huge.

Now, none of them made the 4 grade. Boo. But, they were all 3+ which Dr. M assured me was still considered "good and strong." Less than 15% fragmentation with nice even cells. CC.R.M. are tough graders, too. I did some quick Medline research and found that truly less than 15% fragmentation isn't considered significant...and I need to just let it go anyway.

We had:
2 8 cell
2 7 cell (although one of these is the late ICSI so to me that means it's 'ahead' and I don't know if that's good)
1 6 cell
1 4 cell.

OK--we'll take it!

And yes I know that many of you have had stellar day 3 reports and then not many blasts...I know this. I know the 4 cell is behind. But for us, this is good. It's all we have and we're happy.

Dr. M said that our real question will be: how many to thaw and transfer? I can tell you my gut response: the top 4. I really don't want to drag this out.

We also briefly discussed the endometrial biopsies which we'll definitely be doing instead of the D&C.

But one step at a time.

Tonight Mr. LastChance and I are going to volunteer at the downtown homeless shelter where we're regulars (volunteers, not guests, although with all our IVF expenses...). We haven't been in two months because of everything going on in our lives.

Tonight we will serve with more gratitude in our hearts than usual.

I know these embryos have a chance. I know it's small, but they have a chance.

Our last chance.

EDIT/UPDATE:
John, the head embryologist just called. He's the guy who did half of our ICSI...as he said, because he knew our history and wanted to give us as much help as possible. In fact, he said, and I quote: "We did everything we could think of."

Which begs the question--why not do everything EVERY SINGLE TIME? But I digress.

He clarified that there weren't two late-ICSI, there were just two that initially didn't seem like they had fertilized but clearly had when they checked today. One was 7 cell 3+ and the other was a little 4-cell 3, the worst one.

So really, from the initial 8 that fertilized we had:
2 8 cells
3 7 cells
1 6 cell
2 4 cells.

He said that 3+ is still considered "good quality" (his words). He also said that fragmentation in the range of <15% doesn't affect implantation. Which is what I read in some journal articles...once it gets over 20-25%, and particularly over 35% is when they see major differences in implantation rates.

I thanked him for all his help and breathed out again. When I saw that CC.R.M. number come up I thought for sure they'd given us the wrong results or something.

I'm going to eat a huge freakin' M&M blizzard tomorrow--you know, since I gave up sugar for those little eggies!