Florence Jean Castelberry

Make that, aunt Florence Jean Castleberry.

Warning: TMI ahead.

I went and had my ultrasound. Yay no cysts!

But even better, before he did the ultrasound he used the speculum (that is NOT the better part, believe you me), but he spotted some fluid. I always spot before full flow. I'll leave it at that....but surely AF is on her way. He said my lining was supremely thick so it needed to come out.

I am not using my old RE for my local monitoring this go-around. I guess I felt like a double-failure going back. It was awkward enough the first go-around, like I was saying "You guys couldn't fix me so I'm going somewhere who can, and by the way I need you guys to help me out too." They were nice enough, but it was all perfunctory.

So I didn't really want to admit failure with fancy clinic to my old RE either. I know--pathetic eh? It just reinforces the fact that in my brain, I still feel like my reproductive failure is somehow my own personal fault or something. I need to work on that.

So instead my ob/gyn is doing the monitoring. He is so unbelievably nice. He was so sympathetic and just talked to me for fifteen minutes before the exam this morning. He and his wife had to do IVF so he at least gets it. I really feel like he's part of the team. All he wants is to be able to deliver my baby one day.

And then, he only charged me $40 for the exam and visit. Compare that to the $180-190 for my old RE's office for a vaginal ultrasound.

I love this man.

So... I talked to my nurse. She said that the "days of the week" rule is, in fact, a rule, but it's flexible. Her words were "You have enough to worry about, let us worry about everything else." It sounds good in theory, and her words were appreciated, but she should tell that to back-up nurse who freaked me the hell out yesterday with the possibility of a one-week delay. Don't they know us IFers (especially those on their fifth cycle) are basically teetering on the brink at all times and it doesn't take much to push us right on over?

So I'm heading out of town this afternoon/evening. It's a trip I need to take, to visit someone who I need to see. If AF shows up in full red force today, I'll find a lab in Houston to do my bloodwork tomorrow morning and they might let me start stims tomorrow night. Otherwise, I'm thinking Sunday.

I'm feeling much less depressed now, which is why you got treated to two posts in one day :)

Yeah, what a treat, right?