This past week or so has been so rough. I found myself in that dark dark place I have fought so hard against.
I have about six blog posts in draft, and none of them have made it here to the finished page. I re-read them and they're too...
The list goes on and on.
I woke up this morning and thought: today is the day I will end the blog. I don't even know what to say here some days, it seems like I'm just on repeat, I am so tired of the journey, so exhausted from the pain of the pursuit of parenthood, so tired of feeling like it will not happen, so tired of picturing two stockings yet a-freakin-gain this holiday, just so tired. Why write about it anymore?
I got an email from the lovely Sarang. And she told me to check out her blog, a blog I have followed for a while now after receiving an invitation to view it, long after she had been a super supporter here for me.
What commenced when I read her post was happy tears, happy tears--buckets of em!--ugly crying but in a happy way--you guys know the kind, right?
Her post was a virtual surprise party for me, complete with delicious MEGA desserts and loving messages of support and just...
I don't even know what to say. (and that says a lot! :) )
Thank you seems inadequate but it's all I have.
Thank you from down deep, in the darkest part of my heart that only you guys understand, but also the part that feels hopeful and renewed just knowing you are out there, that I really don't know where I would be without you all and just...
(off to cry some more happy tears--it is so nice to have some happy ones every now and again eh?)
2 years ago