Thanks for the comments yesterday...I can only say how sorry I am to have two commenters who have actually experienced both cancer and infertility. That is too much misfortune for any one human being to bear, and yet they have/do with grace. Amazing.
I guess I thought it was obvious my intent in the post--to say that in the midst of my darkest days I never woke up fearing I might not live. I never worried that I wouldn't grow old. I certainly worried about the quality of my life, and whether there would be grandchildren around when I grew old, and things like that...but to see the fear in my patient's eyes yesterday...the fear of imminent death when she's in the prime of her life...that touched my heart.
And made me profoundly grateful.
She doesn't know whether she will be alive next year.
True, I guess no one does. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. I could get diagnosed with cancer myself next week. But I won't die from infertility, that much I can hang my hat on.
At any rate, we leave on Friday for our major getaway! Hooray! The mister has two shows in the NYC metro over the weekend and then we'll be there for the whole week after. And I'm seeing my boys, OKGo on Friday night in Brooklyn. And my NJ sister Gail.
I have needed this trip for a long time. My dreadful exam is over. My Dad's health is stable. Mr. LC and I are making plans.
There is so much life to live...and I just can't miss a minute of it.
2 years ago